Need To Get Out More
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Too comfortable. It was time to stick my neck out farther!
I felt like a different person from the one who sheepishly hung that original shingle emblazoned with the bold promise of uncommon clarity. And I liked that feeling! I was even a little worried about my marriage, not for any concrete reasons, but because I wondered if my husband liked the person I was becoming. I felt that different. None of them had killed me!
As a matter of fact, most were enjoyable. But not networking. I attended a story-telling event recently where one speaker stumbled badly, repeated his introduction twice, and admitted his stage fright. His confession was met with cheers. The applause when he finished was loud and supportive. The audience clearly admired his willingness to push himself. There are no bones to break in an ego.
How long yours takes to heal depends only on your attitude. When you are self-conscious or nervous, you feel as if the whole world is watching. They aren't. People with no more talent and no less fear than you are successfully doing the thing you are avoiding. I remember vividly one of my very first business breakfasts. Everyone got a chance to stand up and give an elevator pitch.
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1. Find some potential friends
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Supporting a friend
Try for free. Already registered? I won't tell you have to force yourself to say 'yes' to absolutely everything. Like if you're certain you'll dislike an activity, it's way outside your comfort zone, or that's the only time you have to study for a big exam, it's okay to decline.
However, if you're only a little unsure, give it a chance. Why turn down a free chance to get out there with people? When you've got more friends and different options competing for your time you can be more choosy. If you're more of a shy or solitary person it's easy to mull over an invite and rationalize that it won't be that fun and that you shouldn't go. Try to push past those thoughts and go anyway.
You often can't be sure how enjoyable something will be until you show up and see for yourself. Sometimes you'll have to inconvenience yourself for the sake of your social life. You may get invited to a movie you only half want to see, or someone might call you up on Friday evening as you're about to go to bed, asking if you want to go out. Whenever you have two or more people in the equation, you're going to have to compromise sometimes. Again, just being out there outweighs these minor annoyances.
Another thing to consider is that many people will stop inviting someone out if they decline too often. They may have nothing against the person, but the next time they're planning an event they'll think, "Paul never comes out when I ask him, so no point in letting him know this time. It's one thing to hang out with someone once, or only occasionally.
You could consider them a friend of sorts at that point. For that particular person maybe that's all you need in a relationship with them, someone you're casually friendly with and who you see every now and then. However, for someone to become a closer, more regular friend you need hang out fairly often, keep in touch, enjoy some good times together, and get to know each other on a deeper level.
7 sure signs you need to get out more - Flying Solo
You won't have the compatibility to do this with everyone, but over time you should be able to build a tighter relationship with some of the people you meet. Once you've made a regular friend or two you've also got a good base to work from. If you're not super social in nature, one or two good buddies may be all you need to be happy. At the very least, if you were feeling lonely and desperate before, having a relationship or two should be enough to take those feelings away.
Sooner or later you'll end up meeting your friend's friends. If you hit it off with them then you can start hanging out with them as well. You could also become a member of the whole group with time.
1. Join a club.
You can also continue to meet entirely new people. Having friends will make this easier as they'll do things like invite you to parties or keep you company in places where there are new people to potentially meet.
If you join one new club, hit it off with three people there, and end up hanging out with two of them long term, then you've made two new friends.